I love Christmas, and I think this is partly due to my autism. The extreme joy; the special-interest related gifts; the break from the usual pressures of life… However, Christmas tends to bring its own set of pressures, and it can be a very difficult time for autistic individuals to navigate. Below, I have listed the ways that I cope with Christmas as an autistic individual.
Firstly, on Christmas Day, I stay in my own house. I prefer to be in a place that I know and am comfortable in, and I also prefer to be with a minimal number of people. I tend to arrange meeting family and friends on the days before and after Christmas Day, so I can keep the 25th calm and manageable.
Being in my own house also allows me space to retreat if I am overwhelmed or tired. I often struggle with big events and celebrations because you are expected to be happy all the time, yet there are more possible triggers. Having a room in the house that is free from the Christmas festivities helps me to regulate and make the most of the day.
When it comes to my wish list, my family and friends are open to me being as specific as I want. In the past, I might have viewed this as rude; however, being specific helps to reduce anticipation anxiety. It is also particularly useful when it comes to special interests: what I want for Christmas (soft toys, LEGO, and games), it not what you’d associate with a teenage girl. However, it’s what I love and what makes me happy. Having specific wish list results in me getting something I actually want!
For many years, I used to fake smile and shout as I opened presents. Since my autism diagnosis, I have been learning to unmask. I have learned that you do not need to be loud and overdramatic to show you like a present. It is a lot less exhausting and a lot more enjoyable if you react naturally. This also means I can happy stim to my heart’s content.
Routines help me to calm my nerves and keep everything organised – and so I keep my routines going throughout the festive period. On the run up to the big day, I will still be working and getting on with chores; empty time with nothing to fill it is stressful for me. Though it’s definitely important to have a break and rest up, you can count on it that I will still be in bed early and off for a walk on Boxing Day.
Eating is something I – and a lot of autistic people – can find tricky. Although there are lots of new and different foods at Christmas, I do not force myself to try anything new simply because it’s a special occasion. Furthermore, to cope with the noises of others eating (which can agitate and overwhelm me) we play music at the dinner table, or I wear my ear defenders.
As well as food, there can be a lot of difference sensory challenges at Christmas time. Candles and spices that smell; lights that are flashy and bright; loud music and Christmas crackers; itchy jumpers and hats; the list goes on… I use my normal accommodations even though it’s Christmas. It took me a while to get used to this, but autism doesn’t go away just because it’s a holiday. I still need and deserve all the accommodations I usually receive to make my life easier and to make Christmas Day fun for me!
I am autistic 