I am autistic

Note: this is meant to be some light-hearted comedy. The beauty of neurodiversity is that all of our brains are different; no matter if you’re neurodivergent or neurotypical, our brains work in amazing ways. 

If you are reading this, then you may be thinking that you, or someone in your life, is not autistic. Before you begin reading, I ask that you remember this: if you’ve met one neurotypical person, you’ve met one neurotypical person. Believe it or not, even if someone is not autistic, they can still have their own personality and be their own person. 

Now here are 8 signs you might not be autistic:

1. You might not understand autistic humour. When the autistic people around you tell hilariously funny jokes, you struggle to pick on them. You project this issue onto autistic people and tell them they’re the ones that are not funny, but in reality, you are just trying to hide the fact you don’t understand our jokes. 
2. Peculiar and delusional play in childhood. You may have pretended that your dolls were eating and drinking what you “fed” them, even though this is impossible. They’re dolls. They’re made of plastic.
3. You might not understand language and you may have communication deficits. e.g., when asked “how are you?” you respond with “I’m good” even though you’re not. You struggle to get your point across is a clear and concise way; instead you hint at what you want and speak in idioms, then hope for the best.
4. Inability to de-influence yourself from others. If your friend says they like Taylor Swift, you will agree (EVEN if you don’t!). You also buy your clothes based off what is “in style,” instead of taking the logical route of “comfort is key.” 
5. You may struggle to develop interests. e.g., when asked about your favourite TV programme, you cannot remember trivial details, such as the production dates, the cast in alphabetical order or even the number of total episodes.  
6. You might lack common knowledge. When asked about your favourite mode of transport or your favourite type of dinosaur, you cannot give an answer. This also impacts your ability to keep conversations going, as you cannot give the same as you get.
7. Inability to plan ahead. Your spontaneity makes your life chaotic and unorganised. You also struggle to turn up to places on time, letting the autistic people around you down.
8. You find it hard express your emotions through stimming. Even though you feel happy, angry or sad, these emotions stay stuck inside you because you’re unable to stim. Do you even feel these emotions at all if you present them differently to us autistics?

If, after reading this, you think you might not be autistic – please don’t worry. Even as a non-autistic person, you will still be able to live a completely happy life, with the right support.